Today is 26th Dec 2020. Past one month I am quite active on tinder and okcupid. I have got many matches and have talked to many girls. This is getting exciting. I might even get laid if I persevere enough. But is this what I want?
I have my SBI PO prelims on 5th Jan. I have a sure shot of clearing through. Entire year I have been sincerely practising. May be there are others who are more sincere than me, who have 110% chance of clearing the exam but I have given my best in years. I do not have that much chance of succeeding but c'mon the chances are not slim either. I have to just be actively chasing the goal. If I keep practising and do not slack, I might become PO.
So why am I anxious? Because lately I have grown lax. I am craving rewards. My focus is dwindling. There are so many distractions. I am not giving my 110% efforts, not even 75%. There is so much to do, I actually know what more I can do, and these are essentials but I am too negligent and distracted to cover them honestly.
For ex, I am not revising mocks everyday after giving them. I have to revise all the quant ques notes that I have prepared. I have to skim through them in a week span. I have to prepare GS notes by the 5th Jan or when will I revise them. Your SBI and IBPS mains level will be on 28th Jan onwards, like 2-3 days gap. For that I have to give 2 hours minimum to writing down all GS notes. I am not doing that either.
What am I doing? I am talking funny to random girls, acting their moral guru, a suave and funny talking guy who is trying to get in their pants. Is that all that I want? Will that help me in any way? I might get laid if I keep myself at it. But I will fuck up my studies.
Please please, get serious dude. This new ritual that you've adopted of giving mummy your phone to hide away for whole day will pay off. Keep at it. And then be more sincere to your studies. What do you need? Proper timing to study? Improvise. But dedicate at least 6 hours to your studies and mocks. That much is non negotiable. You know that.
If you fail, unfortunately you will also be aware of the reasons for your failures. And that will eat you away.
