Gakkai

Gakkai is just an organization, and just like every other, it also has its base in both moral and immoral grounds. Organization is the rope hanging over the valley of civilization, giving you the hope that since it is elevated above the chaotic world, it might be better to hang onto it rather than following the randomness of the chaos in the valley. But one has to realize this that it is not so. Organizations are made by the same people who are down there. It is no different, just more harmonized. To expect it to be an abode of blissful souls is just wishful utopian thinking. You'll be bitterly disappointed. I've been in Gakkai since forever, from the time I became concious of myself and this world, I have been in touch with Gakkai. My father now has been practicing for 25 years, exactly what my age is. There have been many changes that I have witnessed. He has become calmer as the years went by, but to attribute it to Gakkai would be a misleading statement, it was more so because of lack of energy and opportunities in his life, which made him more and more composed, it would be better to say that he stopped fighting his circumstances and accepted whatever life threw at him with a despondent attitude. And people can't give up their practice of Gakkai out of fear, since they've been dependent on it for so long that now they don't know how to survive without it, they dare not go back into chaos. 

Now I also believe being in Gakkai is good. Why so? Simply because if you're capable of critical thinking, have a larger goal in life and know how to stay afloat, not get bothered by your expectations and results, just stay in for a good fight, being anywhere is good. When you are that upbeat person, whom nothing can deter because he doesn't allow anything or anyone to affect his fighting spirit, he can live anywhere and eventually become dominant in that atmosphere. Well f you've a place where there are people who are nice, or pretending to be nice, you've fewer things to worry about. But if you get too dependent or attached to that atmosphere, you'll again be disappointed. 

For me Gakkai is like a bar, you don't have to live there, but timely rationed visits will quench your thirsty mind. 

Many people argue that Gakkai is a 'cult'. It is a person-centric organization, full of weak people who are gullible, it tames people into mindless practitioners. Then tell me this, isn't that happening with everything and everywhere. People working in companies, aren't they being forced to work for capitalist opportunists. There they work because they get repaid in money. They know the products and corporations they're working for, are deceiving masses, still they continue. Similarly, in religious organizations, one is repaid in spiritual peace of mind and to add to your relief, Gakkai has no ill-will at its core, but true humanistic values. Of course there is a frenzy and fanatical approach towards the momentum, but,  I say, be concious of what you're getting into. Chant wholeheartedly, attend meetings and live a value creating life. But most of all, if you're truly concerned for yourself, be completely honest, to yourself and to others. Don't hold grudges, speak it out,  you'll be only helping people by being honest, that way you always keep your exits clear. Becoming a mindless follower is your problem, it's not organization that tricked you, you were simply too ignorant to see and understand the workings of the world. 

#26/8/19

Key To Victory (NewAgeIndia campaign)

5may-19
Today I realized the key of victories: to be determined at every single moment or simply to take each moment as an opportunity to do your best. Make this your way of living and you would always be motivated. Every moment will become crucial and more importantly, you would start living in the moment. Treat every single opportunity preciously because you have seen the drought of opportunities. For so many years of your early 20s you have had so few opportunities to showcase your inner potential, mainly because you failed to create moments that would lead you to greater opportunities. You used to wait for destiny to throw bones for you to chew, rather a man should go out and hunt for his share. You need to set traps to ensnare greater opportunities. When you start treating every activity as an opportunity, you lay out a conscious pathway behind you which makes it easy to track you.
So from now onwards you've to be keen, conscious and determined at each moment of your life. Each encounter, each action, each conversation, each meeting, each breath should be a conscious decision. That's the secret of victory. This is my plan for this Campaign which will continue till September. From today I've 102 days to actualize my victory. I will secure a job. I will materialize a solid atmosphere for grooming of my art and craft. I will be financially free. My comrades in faith will report victories in their own life. Bansouri ji will be venerated in her family and will joyfully share her victory. Uttam will have a golden breakthrough. Other YMDs will become strong in their understanding of Buddhism.

JerkHeads

23june19
The likes of you isn't hard to direct. You're just zebras, each trying to be in the center of the herd. Each trying to be unique without dropping their masks or revealing their true self. You are morally good because you can't afford to be bad. Inside you're just the same as those who are terrorists, corrupted or hypocrite. But unlike them you're blessed to be in a nurturing and sane environment. If thrown into chaos, you wouldn't be any different, just another deluded, self-indulgent, unconscious being. You are another one of those cowards who haven't discovered their true self because they lack the audacity to look inside for their demons. Your compassion is your masquerade that you use to mingle into your pretentious society. You haven't yearned and thus never understood true compassion, courage and wisdom.

21aug19
You just do your classwork but not your homework. Whatever was taught to you conventionally, you accepted it and stopped questioning or finding your own versions or definitions of ideas that might or might not be conventional but could suit you and your children's lives. It was more convenient to stand into pre-existing spaces which were cleared for masses, no matter how uncomfortable, it was easier than finding and clearing your own space. You voted as if you were going to choose between what kind of pickle would you get. You didn't have the self awareness to sit down for a week and give a sweeping view of past five years gov policies, no sincere discussion at home about what and what not is wrong/right, you give more thought to what would you do if next time Manzle-papa get another one of his kids married. But not a single fuck was given to national interest which will affect your next five years. And then you have the audacity to pass judgements over how irresponsible and ignorant citizens of this country are. You are them. You have been an irresponsible citizen, an irresponsible human and an irresponsible father.
Instead of talking, analyzing and trying to know your own son, you invited strangers to strike a deal with him. He was stupid enough to trust your judgements. I can't trust you with anything anymore. Mother is just deluded, she has her own sets of rights and wrongs, she has yet to understand the dynamics of reality, she has her own naive, constrained reality. To give her a holistic view is like revealing to a caveman that the earth is round, the immediate question is 'I don't believe it because I have not seen it'. She hasnt been able to believe in anything and she lacks the resource and the will to dwelve deeper. Both are myopic and adamant and that's how the majority of the world is (someone they claim they are above morally). And 'me', I'm an unexpected anomaly, they are damn sure I don't know anything. Since I'm unemployed and failed to get a good tech-job, I supposedly lack capability to think or contemplate logically, so they can easily dismiss me. I mean how could my views be worth listening to. And therefore unfortunately if I don't raise my voice or ain't loud enough (metaphorically), I'm convenient to ignore. And when I land a strong headed question that might threaten their inner sanctum of EGo, they would become emotional and hyper and start giving answers in rhetorical loops (a tactic they have learned from their beloved political leaders whom they keenly watch on primetime news networks).

Another rant

After many days we entered in a spat. I was perfectly in senses but there was not slightest of hesitation in me in how was I responding. I am doing my best to get a job. They need to understand that it's not me but the problem with the system which is holding me back. But no they never understand this, and consequently blame me. And so I have become insensitive towards them in response to their insensitivity. I gave no feelings in me. I can't feel any emotions. Empathy has vaporized from inside of me. I have no one who ever catered to my emotions, everyone just demands an emotional support but aren't ready to bear others' emotions. Now when I see someone close to Mr crying, I weigh it rationally. I don't simply stop myself from hurting them, I look for justice. I work by law, justice and punishment system. I hate it. I want to feel like human. It's becoming a rare sight. I have become cold, calculative and cruel. Everyone loves playing  i-am-the-victim role. Show-me-some-sympathy. Selfish Idiots. No sound philosophy to live by. Just criticizing and mocking everything. Pleasing the tyrant and ignoring the weak. Zebras. Throw these  attributes on them, and suddenly they get inflamed. Bastards. And I'm the prick? Of course I'm. You made me. It's convenient to look over, saves you the shame, but this 'me' is just to protect myself from your emotional- selfish-neediness. Dumb jerks.