After many days we entered in a spat. I was perfectly in senses but there was not slightest of hesitation in me in how was I responding. I am doing my best to get a job. They need to understand that it's not me but the problem with the system which is holding me back. But no they never understand this, and consequently blame me. And so I have become insensitive towards them in response to their insensitivity. I gave no feelings in me. I can't feel any emotions. Empathy has vaporized from inside of me. I have no one who ever catered to my emotions, everyone just demands an emotional support but aren't ready to bear others' emotions. Now when I see someone close to Mr crying, I weigh it rationally. I don't simply stop myself from hurting them, I look for justice. I work by law, justice and punishment system. I hate it. I want to feel like human. It's becoming a rare sight. I have become cold, calculative and cruel. Everyone loves playing i-am-the-victim role. Show-me-some-sympathy. Selfish Idiots. No sound philosophy to live by. Just criticizing and mocking everything. Pleasing the tyrant and ignoring the weak. Zebras. Throw these attributes on them, and suddenly they get inflamed. Bastards. And I'm the prick? Of course I'm. You made me. It's convenient to look over, saves you the shame, but this 'me' is just to protect myself from your emotional- selfish-neediness. Dumb jerks.
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