2017 so far has been victorious on many grounds, let me analyse this year for its achievements and for what it fell short of:
I remember posting last year about my issues on lethargy, I am happy to report that I took many painstaking efforts to resolve the issue. I received guidance from Vishesh ji in the month of April last year, and he advised me to get a job. So in the month of December 2016, I procured a job in a BPO with a lot of daimoku. I am certain I got it from chanting as it was just out of the blue as I got a salary of 20k and such a figure is not offered to a beginner, rather the company didn't hire newbies. Anyway, that salary figure enabled me to enrol in Korean language classes and theatre classes (I got some financial help from Surbhi). Also, the job required me to wake up early in the morning at 3:30am as cab used to come by 4:20am and I continued in the office until March in spite of challenging work environment. Those struggles from January to March tore away lethargy from my being.
In the April, I moved out of the house and went to live with Rahul Bhadana and Gaurav Chaudhary. Actually, there is an interesting tale behind my moving out. I had planned to run away from the house, I was planning to run away to Bhutan. I remember crying in silence for this separation from Surbhi. I packed my bags but couldn't move out the same day, in the night I told papa mummy that I am going to live with Rahul. The next day I went to their house-E162, Gandhi Vihar, GTB Nagar. When I reached there, I realised my debt of gratitude towards my parents. Even if they are not very intellectual and averageness dominates their thinking process, I still owe them a debt, I have to make them happy, so I started preparing for CGL-2017, also a job might ensure a financial assistance to my dreams of becoming a world-class actor. I had joined a theatre group, Actors Studio Company Theatre owned by Akhilesh Khanna sir. I juggled with my preparation and classes. It was all very adventurous.
I have cleared my prelims and in the month of November, I came back to my house. I am now preparing for CGL Mains that would be in January of 2018. I have taken a leave from theatre classes as it is not very worthwhile. I will join a more happening theatre group next year and I am sure I will not rest until I have become A Great Theatre Actor. Rather that would be the start of my desired life, I am just creating the base for the life that I desire to live for next 2 years.
Other victories that need mentioning is that I have overcome my 5 years addiction of smoking cigarettes. And I have learned to type on the keyboard, I started practising it when I was working in the office and after almost one year, I am very proficient at it. I have not smoked weed or drunk alcohol for last 3 months because of my preparation. It has been a fulfilling year.
For next year, which is the year of 'Brilliant Achievement', I will be more focused on my duties as a Gakkai leader and will work on my human revolution and my acting skills.
The very big change that is required of me now, that I have just recently discovered, and like lethargy is very nocuous to my greatness is 'my inability to being truthful'. I am a big-fat-lier. Lying is my default programming, I am so good at it that I have used this quality in shaping all the standards and bases of my personality. But I realized that I am a weak, incomplete, untrustworthy, unlikable fellow. I get liked by everyone when they get to know me but with the passage of time, they realise that he is shallow and there is no integrity in his words. I want to be a strong man, someone whose words are valued, whose opinion is cherished, whose presence is needed. I want to become a strong persona, who is confident about his own character. Who is unbending towards other strong characters and supportive and uplifting to those weak around him. Someone like Steve Jobs, Count of Monte Cristo, Josei Toda. I will be truthful, no matter how much harm it does me. Ofcourse I will be prudent, any truth that would harm others needs to be wisely dealt but I will not lie to anyone to make myself look good as that is being pretentious. This is the next thing I am working upon and would be installing it in myself in the course of next year.
I remember posting last year about my issues on lethargy, I am happy to report that I took many painstaking efforts to resolve the issue. I received guidance from Vishesh ji in the month of April last year, and he advised me to get a job. So in the month of December 2016, I procured a job in a BPO with a lot of daimoku. I am certain I got it from chanting as it was just out of the blue as I got a salary of 20k and such a figure is not offered to a beginner, rather the company didn't hire newbies. Anyway, that salary figure enabled me to enrol in Korean language classes and theatre classes (I got some financial help from Surbhi). Also, the job required me to wake up early in the morning at 3:30am as cab used to come by 4:20am and I continued in the office until March in spite of challenging work environment. Those struggles from January to March tore away lethargy from my being.
In the April, I moved out of the house and went to live with Rahul Bhadana and Gaurav Chaudhary. Actually, there is an interesting tale behind my moving out. I had planned to run away from the house, I was planning to run away to Bhutan. I remember crying in silence for this separation from Surbhi. I packed my bags but couldn't move out the same day, in the night I told papa mummy that I am going to live with Rahul. The next day I went to their house-E162, Gandhi Vihar, GTB Nagar. When I reached there, I realised my debt of gratitude towards my parents. Even if they are not very intellectual and averageness dominates their thinking process, I still owe them a debt, I have to make them happy, so I started preparing for CGL-2017, also a job might ensure a financial assistance to my dreams of becoming a world-class actor. I had joined a theatre group, Actors Studio Company Theatre owned by Akhilesh Khanna sir. I juggled with my preparation and classes. It was all very adventurous.
I have cleared my prelims and in the month of November, I came back to my house. I am now preparing for CGL Mains that would be in January of 2018. I have taken a leave from theatre classes as it is not very worthwhile. I will join a more happening theatre group next year and I am sure I will not rest until I have become A Great Theatre Actor. Rather that would be the start of my desired life, I am just creating the base for the life that I desire to live for next 2 years.
Other victories that need mentioning is that I have overcome my 5 years addiction of smoking cigarettes. And I have learned to type on the keyboard, I started practising it when I was working in the office and after almost one year, I am very proficient at it. I have not smoked weed or drunk alcohol for last 3 months because of my preparation. It has been a fulfilling year.
For next year, which is the year of 'Brilliant Achievement', I will be more focused on my duties as a Gakkai leader and will work on my human revolution and my acting skills.
The very big change that is required of me now, that I have just recently discovered, and like lethargy is very nocuous to my greatness is 'my inability to being truthful'. I am a big-fat-lier. Lying is my default programming, I am so good at it that I have used this quality in shaping all the standards and bases of my personality. But I realized that I am a weak, incomplete, untrustworthy, unlikable fellow. I get liked by everyone when they get to know me but with the passage of time, they realise that he is shallow and there is no integrity in his words. I want to be a strong man, someone whose words are valued, whose opinion is cherished, whose presence is needed. I want to become a strong persona, who is confident about his own character. Who is unbending towards other strong characters and supportive and uplifting to those weak around him. Someone like Steve Jobs, Count of Monte Cristo, Josei Toda. I will be truthful, no matter how much harm it does me. Ofcourse I will be prudent, any truth that would harm others needs to be wisely dealt but I will not lie to anyone to make myself look good as that is being pretentious. This is the next thing I am working upon and would be installing it in myself in the course of next year.
No comments:
Post a Comment